For as long as I can remember, I have also been the child with the questions. Granted, I frequently lacked the courage to ask them all or lacked the right words to get the question across properly, still, I had them. These questions plagued my mind, I am embarrassed by the sheer idiocracy of some, like what’s pigment in white makes is different from cream? or pink from red? how was the chemical formula of water discovered? what was the scientist searching for? what about water piqued his/her curiosity? how did one know oxygen was oxygen? its gas really so how then was it discovered? some of these questions stupid as they are run deeper than others, like who the hell thought about other planets, meshed up theories of the earth being round and suspended by gravity while holding hands with other planets. How did one think all these up? who is/was their plug? can I have his number? cos Ill need to be on what they were on the get these answers.
There are things I do not understand, I have been told that knowledge is power, ignorance is a fools meal. still, all the knowledge gathered on love we turn puppets to its whippings. (I boldly claim my ignorance). why is falling in love synonymous with loss of common sense? synonymous with hurt, synonymous with forms of paint that hurt to think up. On this hierarchy, I comprehend family levels only.( one cant understand what they don’t know). maybe I’m cynical, noble prized skeptic even. I have heard enough stories to aid my brain in building bricks around my thorax. They say love makes the world go round still, here we are all these loving just to be stable. Not enough love to stop death, not enough to keep diseases at bay, never enough to lock a lovers groins and certainly, not enough to seduce a bank account into obesity so, enlighten me,what then is this word that commands such human foolery? why is love not enough? why is something so simple always so complex? will I ever know? will I ever let myself know? lord, will I act a fool too?…. fear.
A thousand ways to blasphem, I do not what my sentence will be at this point. The questions I think of but cannot ask. lest I stray too far from the light and delve into parts of atheism I cant afford. still, why is Christianity so hard? So, you didn’t choose to be born but you gotta fight to live, have to fight to die right so you can live eternally?. Dare I ask more? I know God knows everything, so he does know the end from the beginning right? why then were humans created? we are to unholy, too fickle, too unworthy for this grace so graciously granted to us. our spirit is willingly but flesh stay weak some days, the spirit willeth not either. will you teach us better lord? answer our hearts drill too? forgive this ignorance please? maybe? yes?
3:45am : I have questioned natured but never lasted long enough for its answer, I know not to question drowsy eyes and a spent brain….